Monkey Business In Progress.......


Sunday, February 08, 2004

Ode To Bluegrass Towing
Dedicated, With Love, To J. Money, Jon Bickett, Alex Wilson, And Anybody Else Who I've Taken To Redeem Their Cars From The Hellhole That Is Bluegrass Towing

Dearest Bluegrass Towing, you suck a royal dick.
You have no compassion whatsoever and you really make me sick.
You tow our cars and show no shame, then you act like we're to blame.
So what if I parked in a handicapped space? Or in a lot without a pass?
Do you honestly think thats a worthy reason to tow my innocent ass?

We're poor and lowely college kids, without a penny to our name.
But do you care? Hell fucking no. You screw us all the same.
You take Grandma's $50, and the money for our books.
We're forced to sell our organs to pay you f'ing crooks.

You prowl the streets of Lexington, just looking for some prey.
You see a UK parking pass, and by god, it makes your day.
"Yes!" you exclaim, as you drive out of sight,
Their car hitched to the back, you laugh out with might.
"Your car is gone, you little shit. And there's nothing you can do,"
"I'm a fucking tow truck man, and I just ass-raped you."

Making a career out of ruining lives is simply just not right,
I honestly don't see how you manage to sleep at night.
I guess you think you're pretty slick, but honestly you're not.
You're really just a piece of shit that should probably be shot.

Have a nice day! With love, Laurin


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